


Mirror in the Bathroom (Please Talk Free)

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Saturday Night Live RPF
Genre: Dirty Talk, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-27 14:44:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18741178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: “This isn’t what it looks like.”Che raises an eyebrow. “Sure looks like you’re jerkin’ off in my bathroom, Jost.”





	Mirror in the Bathroom (Please Talk Free)

**Author's Note:**

> aaaand another mmom fic, this time with chost and some miiiiiild humiliation. this was a lotta fun to write! 
> 
> big thanks to hannah for beta'ing! 
> 
> enjoy!

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

Che raises an eyebrow. “Sure looks like you’re jerkin’ off in my bathroom, Jost.” 

Colin’s blush takes up his entire face, his funky looking ears, and bleeds down his neck and probably down his chest. Che can’t be sure because, despite the fact that the other man has his dick out and in hand, he’s otherwise fully clothed. Che leans against the door jam.

“Is that not what this is?” He asks after a beat of silence. “Are you not jerking off in my bathroom?”

Colin’s throat bobs as he swallows, clearly uneasy. “I may or may not be jerking off in your bathroom,” he confirms. 

“Uh huh.” Che can’t help but look Colin up and down. Colin’s skinny jeans are so tight they barely sag around his thighs. “Are you not wearing underwear?”

Colin groans and his fingers unmistakably tighten around his dick. “The pants are too tight for that.”

“Or you’re a hussy,” Che observes. 

Colin shudders. 

“Oh, you like that?” Che taunts. His own dick is twitching with interest in his jeans. He doesn’t reach down to palm himself yet, though. He’s much more interested in watching the precome leak from Colin’s dick, the way Colin’s thighs shake. 

“Che, just—?”

“Nuh uh, this is my house.” Che’s voice is sharp, harsh, so his next words come out softer. “You don’t want me to go.” Not quite a question but not exactly a statement, either. He’ll leave if Colin really wants, he’d never cross this line if Colin wasn’t also game. But something tells him Colin is  _ definitely _ okay with this.

There’s a few long, heavy beats of silence before Colin starts to stroke his cock again.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Che swallows to wet his suddenly dry throat. Colin doesn’t even look that hot like this; really, he looks rumpled and messy, caught in a trap and ridiculous. Maybe that’s part of the appeal; maybe Che’s just further gone on Colin than he thought. “So, back to that whole hussy thing. You into that?”

“Dunno,” Colin grits out. “Never, ah, never tried that before.”

“You’re so vanilla,” Che teases with a grin. “No one’s ever called you a pretty little slut before, huh? No one’s made you their bitch?” 

Colin’s hips jerk forward as he fucks into his fist. “No!” He half-shouts, half-moans. 

Che shakes his head. “That’s a damn shame. You’d look pretty on your hands and knees.” 

Colin whines and his gaze flicks over to Che. “You think so?” 

Che finally gives into the urge to grab at his own dick, if only to relieve the pressure building. “Yeah, I do,” he barks back. Colin’s trying to grin but it’s broken up by the way his eyes keep fluttering, how he keeps biting his bottom lip. “Wouldn’t mind seeing you tied up nice and tight and at my mercy.”

“Oh,  _ fuck _ ,” Colin moans. 

“I’d get you on your hands and knees, maybe put a collar ‘round your neck. Could lead you around the apartment before hooking you up to the headboard and making you wait for me.”

“Che, oh god.” Colin’s free hand reaches out and curls around the sink’s edge to steady himself. 

“And I’d make you wait,” Che assures, even though he’s not so sure  _ he _ himself could wait. He’s seen Colin naked in passing, but the idea of Colin on his bed, hands and knees, ready and waiting for him—it’s too good to resist. Even just as a fantasy. “But eventually I’d come back and give you what a slut like you needs.” 

Colin’s eyes flutter again, eyelashes fanning over his pink cheeks. “Please,” he whines “Please, mm, Michael—!”

Che swallows his own groan. He strides the few short steps to Colin at the same time he unbuttons and unzips his jeans. He gets them down far enough, along with his boxers, for his cock to spring forward. Colin never stops stroking himself even as Che situates behind him, taking Colin by the hips and thrusting forward to run the wet tip of his cock along Colin’s tight ass. 

“I’d fuck you,” Che growls. He shifts his grip to pull back one of Colin’s cheeks, exposing his hole. “Probably keep your wrists tied together so you couldn’t touch yourself. Sluts don’t get to come without permission.”

Colin’s hips jerk forward and then back. Che wraps an arm around his waist and guides his cock between Colin’s trembling thighs. It’s not tight enough but it’s just slick enough for a good balance of friction and glide. The sensation of almost-but-not-quite fucking into Colin’s eager body is enough of a turn on, anyway. 

“You’d be good for me, wouldn’t you, slut?” Che asks, leaning in to bite at Colin’s earlobe. “You’d ask so nicely if you could come, huh? Or are you such a hussy you can’t hold it in?”

Colin hiccups and it bleeds into a moan. He’s still fucking into his own fist while leaning back against Che. “I’d be good,” Colin breathes. “I’d try.”

“But would you do it? Or would you come all over yourself?”

“Ngh,” Colin moans. “I don’t know, I don’t know.” He leans his head back and tucks his face against Che’s neck.

“You wanna find out, don’t you?” Che’s already close, almost embarrassingly quick. But Colin is like a livewire in his arms, electric and strung taut, and all his reactions are addictive. “I do. Wanna see how well you take my cock.” 

Colin whimpers one last time before he comes, spilling over his fingers and dribbling down to the toilet. Colin whines and writhes against Che until he’s hissing from his own touch. 

Che grunts and thrusts forward faster until he’s tipping over the edge himself, his come splattering on the inside of Colin’s thighs. He pants, chin hooked over Colin’s shoulder, until he catches his breath. “So.”

“We’re having a moment,” Colin interrupts. 

“We sure are,” Che agrees. “And that moment is you tellin’ me why you were jerking off in my bathroom with the door open.” 

Colin sighs.

Che moves slowly. He steps back and admires the faint sheen of come that he can see on Colin’s skin from this angle. Without taking his hand off Colin’s hip, Che digs a washcloth out of the drawer and wets it in the sink. He cleans himself off first, then cleans between Colin’s thighs before passing the washcloth over. 

“C’mon, Jost. I don’t got all day.”

Colin sighs again as he tosses the dirty rag into the sink. He pulls up his pants with some difficulty and Che barely resists the urge to snicker. “You put your hand on my thigh.”

“And that’s enough to get you hard?” Che knows he sounds mocking but more than anything, he’s _intrigued._

“No, not that. Or, not  _ just _ that. It’s just  _ you _ , alright?” Colin snaps as he starts to step around Che to exit the bathroom.

Che catches him by the shoulder and makes Colin face him. “Yeah?” He asks, even though Colin won’t meet his eyes. “You got it that bad for me Jost?” Che trails his hand down Colin’s chest to his hip again, gripping him tight. 

Colin rolls his eyes. 

“Cuz I do too, y’know. Got it bad for you, I mean.” 

Colin’s whole body goes tense.

Even though he knows Colin heard him, Che says, “You hear me man? I said—?”

Colin kisses him. It’s a bad fucking kiss, off center and clumsy. Che kisses him back just as sloppily until it settles into something easy, smooth, not exactly soft but still good. 

“Really?” Colin asks, voice barely above a whisper. 

“Yeah, dummy. Would I have done that shit otherwise?” 

Colin shrugs. “Dunno. Maybe.” 

He kisses Che’s snarky response away before leaning back. 

“C’mon, let’s go finish the movie,” Colin says, taking Che by the hand and leading him out of the bathroom. 

“Alright,” Che says. “But if I catch you jerking off in my bathroom again…” He trails off; he’s not totally sure what he’d do, actually.

“You’ll what?” Colin asks with a laugh. “Talk dirty to me until I come again?” 

“Maybe,” Che says. They tumble onto the couch together, sitting closer than before and with Che’s arm thrown around Colin’s shoulders. “Or maybe I’ll just string you along till you’re begging for it.”

Colin squirms. “You’re a menace,” he says, affectionate. 

Che grins. 


End file.
